Down The Tubes

I seem to spend a disproportionate amount of my life on London's underground system travelling backwards and forwards from work, which might explain my plummeting vitamin D levels recently, that and the complete lack of summer we appear to be having! 

The tube seems to have an etiquite unlike what we are taught by our parents and being a non Londoner by trade, I often fall foul of the status quo. I personally find it amazing how stressed people can get just getting themselves to work. Now me personally thinks sod it, I would rather be late than crush in to someone's armpit gagging for air. People there are big things to worry about like where the next cup of tea is coming from..

The etiquette guide to the London Underground (or basically any communal transport system)

We, as commuters understand your frustration of the hour we call rush hour, will always try to fit one more person on to the tube if possible but sometimes one more person is one person too many. Even if you ( you now who you are!) yell at other passengers to move down it isn't going to make you fit on the tube. Just hang on the platform 1 whole minute, and guess what,another magical empty train appears ( it is magic I tell you, they just appear out of the dark!) WE ARE NOT YOUR ENEMY

Eating a burrito whilst trying to cram yourself on to the above packed tube is also deemed unacceptable. The only time this becomes acceptable is Friday night when you have staggered from the bar and everyone else has a burrito, then it just becomes one old big Mexican party!

Apparently admiring (ie staring for a second too long) shoes, outfit or hairstyle of a fellow passenger whilst trying to work out if that would suit you, is deemed unacceptable and will result in your having to stare at all the vitamin ads near the ceiling...

Same goes for asking said person where said item of footwear or clothing came from, awkward stares....

Plus side of the tube ads is that you always know the Made sale is starting and the handy discount code 

That awkward moment when you have a seat, trying to work out if the lady standing is pregnant and you should offer them a seat and then the relief when someone else does because you were getting quite comfy and had achy legs

The moment everyone charges down the carriage at Baker Street though they have all been told 400 times that all the doors in this carriage will not be opening at the next station. Big LOLs for me.

The time you thought you were next going to get from monument to Bank station and cursing the tube map for making you believe that they were same station. For someone with limited energy this amount a cruel joke, making them trek through Middle Earth 

You will always end up tripping over someone's suitcase especially those small wheelly things, the risk of this mishap is greatly enhanced at Kings Cross, Paddington... Oh sod it basically anywhere in London, they are the bane of the commuter and just remind us that we are not on holiday .. Bad times

The main mystery though is who is inspector Sands? I wait for the day he appears with baited breath

K xxx