Life Lately...

 I ain't gonna lie to you, last week was a tough week. I had a couple of pretty good weeks but I could feel the anxiety building and last Monday I broke down in to a crash which involved me getting upset at work (bad times).

The worry had just got to me, the worry about money, the worry about maintaining our lifestyle, the worry about making a bad decision about where I wanted to take my career or even if it would be possible to maintain my career ( coming slowly to the conclusion it isn't going to be possible).

Money always worries me because there have been times where money was a struggle and I don't want to be back in that situation again now we are in a more sustainable place. It just isn't visable for me to quit my job in London at the moment and I see good learning possibilities in the role at the moment but my head is telling that I just might not be strong enough at the moment to cope with a full time job and commuting. Big heart vs head debate going on at the moment which obviously isn't help with keeping the stress levels down. Stress seems to be one of my main factors that kick off a crash and last week was full of small stresses.

It was a baddddd couple of days which lead me to spending most of Thursday resting with a sleep in the afternoon after visiting my GP who prescribed me some long overdue pain relief and some comforting words of advice. It is difficult when awaiting a referral because there is still that doubt in my mind that I am ill. It is weird how I need someone to validate what is going on with me because I don't trust my own head.

However it was a week of things to look forward to, with wedding dress shopping for my friend on the Saturday which was a grand day out and a flurry of white, lace and pretty things! If you're wondering she said yes to the dress! Being asked to be a bridesmaid has certainly made things a whole lot brighter over the last few weeks and especially as it is in VEGAS! Roll on 2018 is all I can say.

I have also been making friends in the Instagram world with fellow spoonies which has been a great comfort, meeting people who have had a similar experience and gathering all the advice they can throw at me (keep throwing it at me!)

Mr S and I also got ourselves out in to the good old English countryside this weekend to do a spot of strawberry and raspberry picking to stock up our fridges with yummy goodies. We say we are going to do this every year and never get round to going before the strawberries go out of season so off we trotted and picked ourselves some berries( see here is the proof)

There is further excitement in the weeks ahead as we finally! Start our extension to our house which I know will bring further stresses 
but at the moment I am enjoying looking at ALL the pretty kitchens 
on Pinterest (the link in case you want to take a look http://pin.it/N-07J6M). It is a great activity when you are resting up and making huge physical, not digital mood boards some that my brain doesn't forget all the amazing ideas I have seen! I sense that a spreadsheet will need to be set up with all the costs and time scales so I can keep track of all the variables that a build on the house of bodge will throw up. I'll post pictures as we get going so you can all see the transformation

K x